Hot Tub Time Machine and Valhalla Rising

I have Tobias this morning. Fay takes the other one to ‘Baby Massage with Gaia’ at eight (Fay likes to tell people there that she’s a single mother). She won’t be back until gone three- after, they go down to the park to watch the British Military Fitness instructors.

We had a dinner party yesterday. I thought the ‘if-you-go-back-in-time-and-then-decide-to-stay-do-you-have-to-then-go-back-in-time-again-later-so-that-it-all-works?’ debate was dead. Surely we'd all worked that through years ago in a student union somewhere (T1, T2, BTTF I-III). But, ohh no, Flo and Henry have seen Hot-Tub-Time-Machine. I liked it: the arachnid Crispin Glover (Good). It will sit elegantly between Old School and 17 Again (spitting distance from Big). But, f____, the chat was limited, circular and tedious. Is that the best we've got? I tried: ‘pull out of the Commonwealth Games?’ and ‘Ed or David?’. Fay said I was bourgeois.

I gave Tobias a can of ‘Coke with a twist of lime’ at about ten past eight. He’d crashed out by nine. Valhalla Rising. Makes me laugh when a DVD box blurb gets the plot wrong: ‘Boarding a Viking vessel set for the new world…’ (they didn’t - that’s a big part of the f_____g point). I like it too when they recast the movie . I took it hook, line and sinker: ‘From the producers of the Football Factory…’ Down right cheeky. I wanted and expected a violent placebo. Not a redemptive study. I should have checked if there was a new Danny Dyer about “footbawl and kickin’ f___ owta geeza”.

It was A Very Good Film, no doubt. I should be grateful. It could have been Centurion (“Britain’s answer to Gladiator”- my deep blue balls).

I can hear all of the lavatories in the house flushing. Tobias must be up.